Love Ya, See Ya
by KathyBoPeep
Summary: "How come "Ann Jane" is never here when Daddy is? Do they not share well?"
1. Chapter 1

Part One of Three

"How come "Ann Jane" is never here when Daddy is, do they not share well?"

The question came seemingly out of the blue. Maura and Daniel, her five year old companion to the park, had been walking along the gravel path leading down the hill when the initial inquiry was made. Daniel was like her in that way though, they both just spouted off questions whenever they had them. It was endearing, but also heartbreaking to think that her son might face the same hardships that she did while growing up and being the odd one.

"It's "Aunt Jane" Daniel, and I'm not sure what you mean? Could you explain it to me?", she could already feel the prickling of her skin at the slight aversion to the truth. She knew what he meant, and he really had named the problem far too close for Maura's comfort level. Granted, he was still a boy and had not developed the mindset for a romantic set of thoughts, but even if he was referring to his toys, in essence, he was 100% accurate. Her two favorite people in her life were not good at sharing her and had to desire to do so.

"Okay. Aunt. Jane." with a little accentuation on the "t", the little boy's cheeks turned up as he smiled up at his mother. "When will she visit again? Can we go home and look at the map? I wanna see where Ann Jane is at!" her tiny human asked while jumping up and down nearly yanking Maura's arm off in excitement. Very rarely did he show any outward signs of excitement; he was an introvert like her. Other than that, his rugged brown curls and mischievous eyes were characteristics that his father possessed. Ironically enough, those were some of the reasons that Maura had fallen for him.

"I suppose, it's been nearly a month. Your father did leave a few weeks ago, and we forgot to do it last time, huh?" Maura knelt down to the boy's eye level and placed loving hands on his face to ensure that her message came across at loving and not disciplinary. "You can always ask about Aunt Jane, Daniel, you don't have to wait until your father has left. But, your father loves you and he only wants to spend time with you when he's in town, that's why we don't see Jane while he's here". A small lie wouldn't hurt, right? It wasn't even a lie, just a partial truth.

Maura laughed as her son bit his lip, sign that he was analyzing her words carefully. His concentration was broken when Maura's hands fell from his face to tickle his shoulders lightly. It wasn't a very obvious sign of affection- Maura and her son both shared an aversion to public display- but it was enough for him to know that he was not in trouble, and everything was okay.

"Okay so: I can ask about Aunt Jane whenever I want, but I shouldn't ask a lot around Daddy?" he looked at her with earnest eyes, he'd come to this conclusion and he truly hoped he was correct. His mother nodded at him with a proud smile and stood back up to take his hand. They turned around to leave the park. Daniel felt a tiny tug on his hand and look up at his mother. She was looking at him to make sure that he truly wanted to do this, so he smiled at her and picked up his pace. He really wanted to see where Jane was! Maybe, if his mother was feeling particularly nice, she let him call her!

They loaded their tote bag into the back of the SUV and Maura opened the side door. Daniel used the running board to hoist himself into his booster seat and fastened all the buckled. He raised his hands in the air and yelled "Done! Check me?!" Maura giggled at her son's little competition with himself to beat his own time.

"Oh, you didn't fasten the lap belt all the way D" Maura patted the half buckled piece laying across his jeans. He pouted, he had just wanted to beat his time. But, that's what happens when you aren't thorough. "but I think you tried very hard, I'll just add a second onto your time. Remember though, I'd rather you take longer to put it together than not be safe in case anything were to happen okay Little Man?" the term of endearment slipped out before Maura could stop it.

"That's what Jane calls me." that was all he had to say on the matter. Maura nodded, her heart was aching at their ruined moment, she'd have to be more careful in the future.

She walked around to the driver's side door and climbed in. She handed her ipod to her son, who just shook his head sadly. He was not in the mood for their car ride sing-a-longs, he just wanted to see Jane. It was a secret he kept deep in his heart next to the memories of his Gramma Constance (where Jane said that she could live forever), he very rarely thought about it but: he loved Jane more than his father. They both were gone all the time, but all his father wanted to do is talk about his travels and who he met. He never really listened to what Daniel had to say. It hurt more when he didn't listen to what his mother said though, because she was very smart and his father never even noticed that.

Jane would always talk about how much his mother knew! She would come up with the weirdest things to ask her, and most of the time his mother knew the answers! If she didn't know, Jane would remember and ask her when she came back. What Jane didn't know is that if his mother didn't know the answer to one of her funny questions, that she would research the entire subject for days at a time until she knew it. Sometimes, if she was too impatient to wait, they would face-time each other or skype. It was like they were a different type of family when Jane was in town.

Daniel sighed and tried not to cry, he really missed Jane a lot. School was almost starting again, and he hadn't seen her since Christmas. She had promised him that she would be there on his first day of kindergarten to hold his hand and make sure his mama would be okay. So, he really hoped that she remembered because he had a very important question to ask her.

Maura flipped it to the Disney playlist on her phone and started the drive home. Since she'd moved out of Beacon Hill and out into the country, she'd realized just how much she enjoyed driving. When one lives in the city, your attention is demanded by pedestrians, fellow drivers, and the city itself. But when driving down a lonely one-lane road, you can relax a little. (Unless it's spring and deer just seem to throw themselves at moving vehicles). Jane would always name the creatures that sprang out into the road, just to keep Daniel from realizing when they'd stopped so suddenly. For being a former Chief M.E,. Maura was just not comfortable explaining death to her child just yet.

Her son had fallen asleep some time on the ride home, and Maura was not about to wake him up. Even at five years old, Daniel still only slept for 9 hours a night, and Maura tried to best to get him to nap for two hours when possible to lower his sleep debt. Plus, she needed those two hours to herself to take care of the other side of her life. She crept into the driveway and turned the music down. Casting a final glance at her sleeping son, Maura shut off the car and gathered her things. The tote and their park toys could be left for a little bit, they'd most likely be using them in the near future. She carefully undid the straps of his seat and hoisted her son onto her hip. The fact that he weighed much more than the last time Maura held him like this made her realize that he was growing older and soon she he would understand just what kind of life that his mother lead.

* * *

"Hey, it'll be okay Maur- he's only _five_, I don't think he meant it that way" Jane's voice of reason was the only thing to ever penetrate Maura's self-deprecating thoughts when she got into one of her moods. Maura set the ipad down on the rubber mat on the side of the bathtub and reached over to grab the glass of wine she had perched on the edge of the porcelain.

"I know that, Jane, but it still threw me for a loop. I never expected him to describe it quite to accurately. I mean, he _really_ wants to see you- you're his best friend- but I don't know if I can handle it." Maura sighed and sat up in the tub to pull the stopper out. They'd been talking for almost an hour and Maura didn't want to chance Daniel waking early and hearing Jane's voice. That's one situation that she just could not handle right now.

"Well, I'm near Chicago right now; I could easily catch a flight from O'Hare. I could be there to kiss you goodnight tonight." Jane smiled at the blonde who rose from the tub, her gorgeous curves littered with bubbles that Jane would do anything to be able to smell and wipe off of her naked body. "Or, I could at least call back in an hour and talk to Little Man, it has been a difficult few months for him. I know I haven't been around much-"

"Neither has Ian, though, and it's sad to say that I almost wish he'd never return. I know he's my husband and my child's father, but he really only holds the title for it- there's no feelings there anymore." Maura sighed and bent over to grab her tablet. She saw Jane smirk at the brief display of her naked body and clicked her tongue reproachfully. "This is not yours Jane, I'm not just free to ogle every moment of the day" Maura laughed lightly while putting her robe on one-armed. She flipped the case over and walked from the bathroom to her bedroom. She set Jane on the comforter and went to throw on some comfortable clothes. She was going to need to make a decision soon, and she needed to figure it out before her son woke up in..thirty minutes.

"Maura, I gotta run okay? My phone's dying and I'm going to hit the city where I'll have no wifi or service really. I'll text you when I'm at the airport and hopefully you can tell me where you want me to fly, okay?" Maura heard Jane's voice and bolted half-dressed from her closet to see Jane one last time.

"Love ya, see ya Maur" Jane nodded to the blonde, who was embarrassed at how choked up she was getting over something so menial.

"Love ya, see ya Jane. Be safe" Maura whispered and tapped the hangup button. Instantaneously her background of her ipad stared at her. It was a photo taken by Jane of Maura and Daniel last Christmas when Daniel realized that his father wasn't going to make it in for the holidays. Jane had changed her plans and flown to Boston with a Santa costume and a rucksack full of presents for her two favorite people. She'd burst into their house with a camera ready to photograph their initial reactions, and boy did they deliver. Maura's eyes were shining with love towards the very lithe Santa, while Daniel looked like he could care less about the bag of presents, he had Jane and that was fine. If he couldn't have both parents home for the holidays, this would do just fine!

Maura blinked back tears at the decision she had to make. She really wanted no- needed to see Jane, it had been nearly six months. That's the longest stretch of time they'd gone without seeing each other since they'd met. But last time really had affected their relationship and had almost turned out disastrous.

_"Hey, you know that I love you right? I just don't like to be here when Ian is- he just loves to show you off. He knows that I love you and wish you were mine, and he loves to let it be known that you're not." Jane tapped a finger against Maura's sternum as Daniel napped in the crazy wrapping paper mess that had erupted once their initial surprise wore off and he had realized that the whole bag of gifts was for him. _

_"I know you love me- that's not the issue Jane. The problem is that I love you too, but I cannot and will not let myself stray from my wedding vows. I am an Isles, and we are never 'women on the side'; my dignity and pride come before everything other than my son and it scares me how willingly I let those things slide when you're around. That's another problem Jane, you don't stay. You're a traveller, it would kill you to stay. _

_"I run Maura, I don't do it for fun. I make the best of the bad situation. I'd stay for you though, I would. I run everywhere- I don't stop. My brain doesn't even stop for food or water, it only stops when I hear your voice. I-"_

"Stay a little bit longer then, each time. Stay for longer and maybe I'll consider a talk with Ian. I love him Jane, not like a spouse, but as someone who truly cared for me when I was younger and I can't just forget that. But, that love that we had, it's long gone. I love Daniel with my entire being but after he was born I think Ian was reminded what real world responsibilities are, and he didn't like that." Maura snuggled into Jane's familiar embrace, appreciating the musky scent of her partner.

_"I'll try okay. Just, it's hard yanno? After Hoyt, I - I just can't sit still. Even though he's dead, and everyone knows it. I just have a hard time staying put. I think it's because when I worked for BPD I at least had cases to distract me. But once Frost-"_

_"Hey." Maura placed a hand on her cheek and kissed her chin softly. "You don't have to explain yourself, not to me. We don't have to talk about this yet, it's Christmas." she laid her head back down on Jane's chest and focused on her heartbeat. After a few tense moments, she heard the tiniest whimper come from deep within Jane's chest. She looked up and gasped at how Jane seemed to be sobbing on mute. She made no noise but her eyes were red and her face contorted into silent sobs. Tears pooled in Maura's scalp but she didn't care. Jane was healing from all of her wounds, some physical- some not, and that's all the matter to Maura. _

_The blonde sat up on the couch and pulled Jane close to her. She nuzzled her face into the wayward curls that seemed to get larger and wilder every time she saw her. Jane kissed below Maura's ear and whispered "I miss him Maur- I really do. I just can't get over it. It's been almost four years and I still can't make peace." with that silent admission that shattered Maura's heart into tiny pieces among the strewn gifts on the floor, she had done the only thing she could think of. _

_She kissed Jane. _

"Momma? Are you okay?" a little voice said from the doorway. Little blue eyes peeked around the corner at his mother, who was sitting in just a bra and jeans on her bed sniffling at the ipad. "Did Daddy send you another bad email? I promise I won't tell if you wanna say he's a butt-head" Daniel tried his best to reason with his mother. He knew that he was supposed to knock before entering his parent's room but his momma wasn't there when he woke up like she usually was so he got scared.

"Oh, just a moment Daniel. Go set up for a snack and I'll be right there, okay?" Maura jumped and flipped the offending tablet over onto the bed. She scooted back into her closet and grabbed a simple tank top and Jane's BPD hoodie. She grabbed her phone off the nightstand and flipped it to "loud" so she wouldn't miss her brunette's message. She opened her door and smiled at her son with his little plastic Avengers plate and utensil set all laid out. He had even opened the dishwasher and grabbed a cup too.

"Before snack time buddy, I have some good news!" Maura sat down next to her son at the table and took his little hand into hers.

"'kay" he said clearly exasperated by the delay of his routine snack. He was expecting some stupid news about his dad, who was less important than his snack.

"What would you say if we maybe had a visitor this evening. She might even stay for a few nights." Maura winked at her son.

"JANE? IS JANE COMING?" Daniel jumped out of his chair and started to dance around the kitchen. He ran over and grabbed Maura's hands, pulling her out of her chair and into a clumsy imitation Waltz.

"I think so little man!" Maura giggled as they pranced around the kitchen in terrible form, just relishing in their moment. Briefly she wondered if it was healthy for him to be so attached to Jane, yet so aloof about his father. But, she was in the same boat, so she didn't dwell for long. Daniel even chose to ignore his mother using Jane's nickname because Jane herself was coming to see them, and that was the best thing ever.


	2. Chapter 2

**this one is short but the next and last one should be a monster. It could be a few days before I get that written. So, leave me some love for motivation and we'll see what happens ;D  
**

* * *

Okay,_ I'm at the airport Maur. Where should I_ go?

_Come home, Jane. Come on home to us. _

_I will. What have you told Ian?_

_Nothing yet, I'll figure it out soon though. How long are you staying?_

_As long as I can. I'll try my best. Flights for Boston leave at 3:20 my time, so I should be home right after dinner. Then, we can spend the night talking about what you're going to do about Ian. _

_That sounds nice, Jane. I'll leave you a plate. :) _

_Thank you. I'm going to let my phone charge while I'm at an outlet. Love ya, see ya. 3_

_Love ya, see ya. 3_

* * *

"Can I help with dinner tonight?" Daniel pleaded with his mother with biggest blue eyes that he could manage. Maura nodded and smiled; he looked just like his father when he really wanted to do something.. Even after 5 years of exposure from him, and many more from her husband, she still couldn't say no to that face. As a smaller child, Daniel seemed to be placated by little things- which made venturing out with him quite easy. If they went to the store and he wanted a toy, he would ask nicely and if Maura said no, he didn't throw a fit. Did he become silent and brooding? Yes, he did. But he didn't really throw tantrums or anything, he more staged silent protests over missed opportunities. There were only a select few times that Maura had to leave somewhere early because of Daniel's behavior, and for that she was forever grateful.

"What should me make, Big D?" Maura felt playful, like there wasn't an elephant in the room named Ian and his separate life tonight was a celebration of their favorite person coming to visit- her rocky marriage could wait until tomorrow.. Her son took on a face of mock concentration and studied their pantry intent on finding something for dinner. Even if he couldn't quite read the labels on the cans, or the boxes full of things, he still wanted some input on the matter. But, considering this was quite a special night, he figured Jane's favorite meal was on the menu. It was a tradition every single time Jane came home to have the same thing.

"Can we have The Rizzoli Special?" a spatula and a loaf of bread were thrust into Maura's hand indicating that tonight would be grilled cheese and chicken soup- Jane's favorite meal. Normally she would make it herself, but she always got that special twinkle in her eye when Maura replicated her favorite dish.

"I think that would be appropriate, Daniel. Do you want to make Jane's sandwich right before she gets here? She should be here around 7:30 or 8:00, depending on traffic." Maura set the utensils down and sprayed her pan. She turned around to see her son on his tip toes trying to grab the peanut butter off of the high shelf. Maura stifled a giggle and reached over to nudge it slightly, making it easier for her son to get it down himself. With a look of pride and a little chuckle, the little boy set the peanut butter, a butter knife, and a paper plate out on the table where Jane would usually sit. He already knew that she wanted one grilled cheese and one peanut butter and fluff sandwich to dip in her soup. His mother always made a silly face when Jane did that, but Daniel had tried it once and it was really good!

"Okay, it's all ready to go for when she's here." Daniel jumped around quickly and accidentally brought his elbow down on the table_ hard_. "Ouch!" he cried, rubbing his elbow and holding it to his mother for a kiss. " I'm just excited mama! Oh! Can I show her my new school shoes and my bookbag?" Daniel, having forgotten all about injury, rushed into his room to gather his new things that they had purchased last weekend. Maura started to make their dinner; if he needed help, he would call for her.

After the sandwiches were sitting on a paper towel and the soup had been taken off of the stove,

Maura realized that her son was being a little too quiet, even for him. She covered the sandwiches and stuck them in the microwave. She covered the soup then removed her apron, folding it neatly over the chair. She treaded lightly down the hallway to Daniel's room and peeked inside to see him curled up with his Red Sox hat, sobbing quietly into his pillow. Maura opened the door slowly and knelt beside her son's bed. Her fingers lovingly played with his curls as he opened his watery eyes to look at her.

"I-I'm sorry mama. I just got really sad." Daniel tried his best to explain in between hiccups and sobs.

"What happened Little Man? Did you hurt yourself? Where does it hurt? It is when you hit your elbow earlier?" Maura gave him a quick once-over and ran her hands over his head looking for any bumps or contusions.

"It was bad but only for a second. I thought for a little bit that if Jane lived here instead of Daddy that I would be happier and I could have two parents to take me to kindergarten. But I promise it was just for a second, no lies. I know that Daddy loves me, but he's never here anymore. Besides, he still thinks that I hate baseball. But, I love it! I love it so much." hot tears leaked out of Daniel's eyes as he buried his head into his mother's arms. He didn't want to see just how mad that he made her for speaking poorly of his father.

But, when the scolding didn't come, he raised his head in confusion. His mama was crying too. Oh, no! What kind of son was he to make his mama cry? Only the bad kids on t.v. made their mothers cry and he was not a baddie!

"I'm sorry mama! I *hic*didn't mean to make you cry. I'm so so so so so so*hic* sorry!" her son's sobs got louder and deeper and the sight of his mother in tears. He grabbed the sides of her face and peppered it with kisses like Jane would do when he hurt himself. It always helped him feel better, so maybe he could help his mama.

"No, no! My Daniel: my love, my son, my everything- no! You didn't make me cry. Do you want to know something? I-I wish Jane was here too honey. I wish she was here to tuck us into bed and sing her crazy songs about what we're eating every morning. I wish she was here teach you Italian and to snuggle us until we fall asleep. I really want that, big D. But, we can't have that just yet. I know that you might be too young to really understand but I really want her to stay, but Daddy is not good at sharing. Remember what you asked earlier? It was right. So, I need to talk to your father, but that's not for a while. For now, we're just going to enjoy Jane while she's here, okay? Everything will work out just fine. Let's go eat dinner and then maybe we can get your bath in before Jane gets here so you aren't such a stinky little boy!" Maura laughed and wiped her tears away.

This was getting out of hand, she really needed to talk to Ian about their marriage, or lack thereof. It was killing her to see her son like this, and it was killing her even more to watch Jane walk away from them every single time. She didn't know how many more times her heart could handle not kissing Jane. She didn't know how many more times she could try and fake a smile when her husband came home. All that Maura Isles knew was that her life needed to change before it started to affect her son, and that was not an option.


	3. Chapter 3

**omg sorry this took forever, hahaha. Oopsie. It's a beast of a chapter, and it took me the better part of a week to write. haha. Enjoy :3**

* * *

After dinner was over Maura insisted that Daniel get his bath out of the way. However, the excited child was too wound up to sit still. Therefore, bathtime was becoming quite the struggle. Maura was nearing the end of her rope.

"Daniel Thomas, I'm not kidding, get your pajamas and meet me in the bathroom **right. now.**" Maura emphasized the last two words while trying to think of a fitting punishment if he did not comply. She couldn't blame him really; Jane coming into town was quite a big deal, and he usually was very tame for a five-year-old.

"I don't want to. What if I miss Jane? I don't wanna miss Jane!" Daniel said loudly. He didn't dare yell at his mother, but he surely wanted to get his point across. He threw his hands up (just like his father) and cocked his head at an angle. He was set in his decision.

"Well, you can get in the bath now and be out by the time Jane gets here. Then, she can read you a bedtime story. Or, you can wait until she gets here and she will put you to bed with no story. Your pick bud. But, I will not tolerate this kind of behavior when she is here, I mean it." Maura knelt down at looked her son head on. He seemed to contemplate his options before letting out a hefty sigh and throwing his hands up in defeat. Turning on his heel, Daniel marched back down the hallway and into his room.

Maura smiled at her son's reasonable, yet childish, reaction to her ultimatum. She was kind of ashamed at her hostile reaction to his fit; she generally prided herself on her patience. But, the older her son got, the more his mannerisms and reactions mirror those of his rarely-present father.

"Okay, but can I wear my new school jammies since Jane is coming? We love the sox!" Daniel threw on his most charming smile, a smile that would surely cause Maura more problems than bathtime in the future. So, she would be thankful that she was raising a good boy, who really just longed for the affection of a second parent.

"I think that should be okay. Just make sure to fold them nicely in the morning, okay? I don't want them to get lost under your black hole of a bed!" she giggled and stood up to go to the bathroom. Daniel followed his mama into his bathroom and held up a hand to stop her.

"I think I'm okay mama. I'm a big boy, can I do it myself?" he asked, ready to try and get everything in this bath done on his own.

Maura mulled this over for a minute. He was pretty advanced for his age, so 5 years old seemed like a good time. He was usually a good helper and only really ever needed help rinsing his hair, so she agreed.

"Sure, but I'm still going to sit here and make sure you're okay. You're so sweet, I wouldn't want you to melt." Maura kissed his cheeks and ruffled his hair lovingly.

"Love you mama. I'm sorry I was a baddie. I just miss Jane." Daniel wrapped his arms around Maura in a physical apology. He snuggled his head into Maura's torso, stuck his arms in her hoodie pocket, and tickled her. She yelped and mock gasped in horror.

"A tickle attack? Before Jane got here? Ohh, I'm gonna tell her!" a deep laugh followed her sentence as her son joined in- all their previous problems forgotten. Her son pulled away and turned to start the tub.

"Hold on a second kiddo, let me grab my phone before we get you in there; I don't want to miss Jane if she needs me for anything."

"Okay mama." Daniel sat on the edge of the tub and poked one of his little rubber duckies until it wobbled into the tub. He did that with the next four until a little row of yellow duckies lined his tub like they were marching him into his bath.

"Okay big D, go ahead." his mama came back with her phone and her pajamas. He never told his father that his mama wore Jane's clothes to bed every night, he wouldn't like that at all. He knew they were Jane's because on the back they said "Rizzoli" in big letters. Jane had taught him how to spell "Jane Rizzoli" "Maura Isles" and "Daniel Faulkner", he'd asked about spelling his father's name, but Jane got in trouble for teaching him a name worse than butt-head.

Maura flipped down the toilet seat and brought her knees to her chest like she was a teenager hiding in the bathroom to use the house phone again. She flicked her eyes over to make sure that her son was turning the correct dials on the tub, which he did. So, she unlocked her phone and started an email that she'd been putting off writing all day. But, she needed to get it done before Jane arrived in...a half hour or so. She tapped her email app and tried her best to sound cordial and polite. It was probably around four a.m. wherever Ian was, so she didn't expect a quick reply.

[To: IFaulkner ]

[From: DrMauraIsles ]

Subject: (no subject)

Ian, we really need to talk about where we are heading in our marriage. I would greatly appreciate if you would contact me via Skype or Email at your earliest convenience. Daniel starts school in 11 days, and I'm sure he'd love a phone call or at least a web chat.

Thanks,

Maura.

Her phone made the "Whoosh!" noise as her email was marked as sent. She set her phone down on the corner of the seat and switched into a cross-legged position on her makeshift chair. Daniel was currently leading his ducks into a bubble battle, and he seemed to be doing rather well.

"Don't forget your hair little man, okay?" Maura asked, wondering if it was too soon to text Jane.

"I won't mama, just a little bit longer. King Quackswell the fourth is getting ready for form a coup over Baron Von Mallardston." her son bit his lip in concentration as the two ducks went down in a flurry of soapy bubbles.

"What?" Maura burst out laughing. It always amazed her just how well her son picked up on things. She was very grateful to have a child as perceptive and well-mannered as Daniel was.

"Nothing mama, just playin. I'm gonna be done soon, the waters gettin' cold"

After a few splashes and some wayward ducks, Daniel was pouring cups of lukewarm water on his head to get rid of all the "clampoop" (another Jane Rizzoli phrase that stuck). He sputtered and stood while Maura wrapped him up in a big fluffy towel and danced around with him a bit. He wiggled to be let down so Maura unplugged the drain and left him to change in peace.

She unlocked her phone again and saw that she'd gotten a message from Jane ten minutes ago.

_I just got off the highway, I'll be there in like fifteen. _

She smiled at the thought of her best friend and son interacting once again. In all honestly, Jane had been a better parent to her son than Ian ever had been. He responded to her like you would generally see in a child views someone as their parent or guardian. Ian was never really a _bad_ father per se; he just never really wanted to be there for his son. He wanted to parent from as far away as possible- maybe he was that kind of husband too.

"Mama?" a small voice came from the bathroom. Wide eyes met hers as she realized that her son was guilty of something.

"Yes, darling?" Maura used her most comforting, maternal tone.

"I- I was just trying to brush my teeth, and I spilled toothpaste on the sink, I'm sorry." Daniel's eyes welled up at the thought of what punishment he might receive. He was just trying to be a good boy, and he'd just made a mess.

"Let's take a look okay bud? Nothing to worry about, it's just toothpaste." Maura smiled as his little sniffles started to disappear. She grabbed his little hand and together they walked to the bathroom. Maura couldn't hold in the giggle that erupted from her at the sight of this "mess". Daniel's toothbrush had just a teensy bit too much toothpaste but had flipped over and sat delicately on the pile of dirty clothes that he had just changed out of.

"Oh, big D it's not that bad. At least your toothbrush landed on your dirty clothes and not your red sox pajamas, huh?" a few dabs of cold water and a fresh round of toothpaste left Daniel to just nod in agreement.

"Okay, spit!" Maura laughed as her son sputtered into the sink that he could barely see over.

"Can we wait up for Jane please?" Daniel asked as he walked towards the kitchen. "I can even start her sandwich!"

Maura thought for a moment as they headed into to the kitchen. She stopped suddenly at her door and threw it open quickly to toss her pj's on her bed from the hallway. She would have time to change into them later. After double checking that they'd landed safely on the bed, Maura shut the door and continued on their trek to the kitchen.

"Yes you may, but be careful of the knife. I know that it's not sharp, but it can still cut you if you don't pay attention." Maura hit a few buttons on the microwave to warm Jane's soup up. Her grilled cheese still sat on a paper towel over the plate, just the way Jane liked it. How she could eat something like that lukewarm baffled Maura to no end. But, there are just some questions that she truly did not want the answers to.

A gentle knock on the wooden door made Maura's heart jump into her throat. She'd never once felt this excited to see her husband when he came back from a trip. But, she nearly burst into tears when she knew that Jane was coming into town.

"Mama! Can I answer it?" the little firecracker was out of his chair in a flash. Maura chased him down and stopped him before he flung the door open.

"You need to ask who it is, bud. You don't want to invite a stranger in, do you?" Maura tried to be stern, but inside she was just as excited to see Jane as her son was.

"May I ask _please_ who is it?" Daniel sounded sugary sweet and almost sincere. A hearty laugh was heard outside the door. Both Maura and her son's faces lit up when they heard:

"It's the police ma'am, I need a place to stay. I seem to have gotten lost and can only find my way to pretty girls and their adorable sons."

"Jane!" the door was flung open to reveal the tall brunette with..quite a bit more luggage than usual. This itself left Maura speechless, too overwhelmed to form any coherent words.

"Hey babe." Jane winked at Maura as her son wrapped his arms around her torso. Slowly they maneuvered into the living room and Jane lightly kicked the door shut behind her. Maura blushed like a teenager over the affection that she, as a distant housewife, was not used to receiving. Jane's deep eyes crinkled at the corners, showcasing the small wrinkles that had appeared since her last visit. They were not a sign of age however, Jane Rizzoli only aged emotionally, they were memories that finally had been let go. Memories that had kept her running for all these years. Memories that had torn apart her family and career; Maura and her son were the only two advocates for the sullen former detective anymore. But, they meant more to Jane than a thousand fake pleasantries and half-assed acknowledgements.

"Jane I-" the sleepy boy tried his best to fight the exhaustion that had crept in after his bath. "I made you a fluff-a-nutter sanwish" another yawn permeated his thoughts as his eyes started to roll back in his head. Jane hoisted the boy onto her hip and kissed his head maternally. Maura gently took Jane's bags and walked to her bedroom to store them in the closet.

She knew that Jane wanted a little time alone with Daniel- it had been too long since she'd had a chance to see him. Sure, she skyped or face-timed with Maura on occasion, but Jane had always held Maura's son close her to heart and constant in her thoughts. She knew that her time to be a mother was nearing a close, so she coddled and parented Daniel as if Ian did not exist. That task wasn't too hard for Jane considering she hadn't seen the man since Daniel's christening nearly four years ago. That event had gone smoothly although she could feel the hatred coming off Maura's husband in waves- he'd never really taken to her. Well, how could you really like someone when their soul intention was to please your wife like you refused to? Exactly.

Maura didn't dare unzip Jane's bags- she knew that the emotionally damaged woman appreciated the trust and space that this setting offered her. From what Maura had pieced together from their conversations, Jane hadn't spoken to her family in almost 5 years, unrelated to Daniel's birth. She never pried into the reason that Jane failed to speak of anyone from Boston other than Frankie, but she figured that it had something to do with the Surgeon and his apprentices that insisted on making a then Detective Jane Rizzoli's existence a living hell.

So, Maura set her things in Jane's side of the closet and left the door cracked a bit. With a quick glance around her bedroom, Maura deemed it fit for Jane's visit. It wasn't that Jane was picky about drape colors or something drab of the sort. She just preferred to see the windows clearly and to avoid having anything in the walkways to make for a safe departure if need be. Occasionally when she remembered unsettling things in her dreams, she liked to pace the kitchen and stare at the driveway to ensure that her less-than-alive demons were indeed not strolling the premises waiting to destroy everything that she cared for… again.

"Hey." a simple greeting still left Maura red-faced and shy. One would think that after a decade of companionship, it would take more than a mono-syllable gruff greeting to make her swoon.

"Hey yourself." Maura smiled and walked into the offered embrace. Jane's body was warm from travelling and a welcomed change in temperature from the cold summer nights which seemed to taunt Boston with dreams of golden leaves and trick-or-treats. "Dinner's in the microwave if you're hungry." Maura smiled into Jane's jacketed chest. She inhaled the familiar scent of happiness that she didn't realize just how badly she missed in the six months it had been.

"You make Boston Homicide look sexy." Jane laughed at Maura's choice of wardrobe. The blonde looked down and giggled as well. "Daniel walked in on me changing earlier and this was the first thing I found. Maybe I just missed you a lot, that seems reasonable." Maura pulled back and grabbed Jane's wrist in the lightest grip she could. Even after how close they'd become, she still avoided grabbing Jane's hand without being prompted to do so. She did not want to be put on Jane's list of people who didn't listen and invaded her personal space. She pulled the former detective lightly towards the kitchen and led her to a meal prepared by her two favorite people.

"Little Man wanted to help out with dinner." Maura motioned to the peanut butter that graced the crust of the sandwich and the plate (and the table). A beer made itself at home along with a steaming bowl of chicken soup in front of Jane, who truly was touched with the display of care she was being presented with. Her Ma used to make her homemade things like soup or gnocchi, but never had she been presented with the world's best sandwiches by the world's best people.

"He did great, Maur. Also, I'm pretty sure that he drooled on my jacket on the way to the bed, when is his normal bedtime? It's only 8 and I know that when I was five, I tried every single night to stay up until _at least _10." Jane laughed and took a swig of her ice-cold beer. It was amazing how different the same lager could taste much better when served with love and not the crass attitude of an overworked and underpaid barkeep.

"Actually, we fluctuate from 7:30 until 8 normally. But, he took his bath early so he could be up to meet you, which I think started his internal clock a bit early. Did you have any trouble putting him to bed?" Maura stole teensy bit of Jane's sandwich and stood to grab her grilled cheese out of the microwave. She turned around for Jane's answer and was momentarily stunned by the look of pure adoration and love on her normally sullen partner's face.

"Maura. You remembered? No one ever did…" Jane trailed off as Maura stepped behind Jane and set the cold oily cheese...thing in front of Jane server-style.

"We never forgot Jane. It was actually Daniel's idea for dinner. He explicitly asked for the "Rizzoli Special" for dinner. So, who was I to not comply?" Maura felt herself being tugged down further and a warm set of lips kissed hers lightly but lovingly.

"Thank you." Jane whispered, shoving the cold grilled cheese into her mouth to avoid any further emotional declarations. She didn't mean to kiss Maura less than an hour into her visit, but she was just so taken back by the care and love that this family radiated. It was more than enough for Jane to feel safe- a feeling that she was equal parts terrified and excited for.

Maura was still blushing from the Spiderman style kiss that left her breathless. She'd never been kissed like that, and it was a wonder how that Mary Jane girl had gotten anything done after a kiss like that!

"Sorry." Jane mumbled with a fake sorrowful tone that her dimples gave away. She wasn't sorry for kissing Maura, she was sorry that she couldn't do it again without making the blonde feel guilty. Kissing Maura Isles was just something that most people had done out of habit or expectation- never for love. They treated it as something they were entitled to because of their title. But for Jane Rizzoli that gift, that simple pleasure that could not be measured by mere numbers or scales of any sort, was something that she would never tire or take for granted. Maura Isles was a gem among rocks, and Jane would never ever let her go.

"With a kiss like that, never be sorry" Maura bit her lip and sat back down with a mug of tea for herself. "But, we do need to set some boundaries for our peace of mind. I can't live my life wanting to kiss you so badly, but not being able to." Maura sighed and sipped her tea tentatively,

"I'm not sorry that I kissed you, that's the whole reason I came here: I love kissing you. But, I'm just sorry that someone beat me to wife-ing you up so they have legal rights to kiss you… and much more" Jane mumbled the beginning but towards the end she spoke with a predatory growl.

"Wife-ing me up? Wherever you've travelled Jane, you've surely picked up a few colloquialisms- I like them though, keeps you interesting!" Maura winked and laughed when Jane rolled her eyes just like she used to. "On a serious note, I did email Ian. I requested that he contact me soon and call his son before he starts school be-"

"Oh shit! That's in a few days huh?" Jane looked heartbroken; her days with Daniel would soon be shared by other kids and learning, which made her a proud woman, but also saddened her greatly. What had happened to the little boy in Red Sox pajamas that were too big who called her "Ann Jane" and played Zombies with her?

"I'm not sure of the exact date until the school emails me on Monday. They're splitting the kindergarten into four groups due to class size and staggering their start times so they don't overload the kiddie wing." Maura grimaced as Jane slurped the last of her soup and stood to put her dishes in the sink.

Jane flipped her phone out and checked it briefly before shutting it off completely. The only people that she truly cared about were right here in this house, everyone else could go to hell. She beckoned Maura over to the sink and smiled bashfully at the floor, her dimples making her look adorable. Maura shot Jane a look of mild curiosity and stood as requested. She mock pranced over to Jane who just wrapped her in a loving hug. Maura mewed happily when she felt herself being lifted and swung around slowly. The bright espresso eyes shone with delight at the playful fun they had, even in their 40's. Loving each other was like being two bumbling adolescents stealing kisses behind the school and talking on the phone for hours on end.

The spinning slowed down and Jane moved her hands from around the thin frame down to feminine hips. She held Maura close as they danced around the kitchen, eyes closed. Jane started to hum a song in her deep yet joyful voice. Maura slipped Jane's jacket down her shoulders and casually threw it on the kitchen table. Maura's arms wound around Jane's neck and her hands wove into the hair she'd missed terribly. Jane's thumbs caressed the denim that Maura wore, playing with the little blue and white strings coming from a frayed pocket. The melodic humming from Jane was making Maura sleepy. She'd done a lot more than she anticipated today.

"We should go to the park again tomorrow, I think Daniel would like that. He's been showing me his baseball glove and the little rubber ball that you got him quite a bit. I assume he wants to play, but you know how terrible I am at anything sports related." Maura said with a chuckle. They put their foreheads together and just looked at each other with such love and adoration, that Maura felt tears begin to fall. Warm lips kissed each tear track and dutiful thumbs chased away all evidence of the momentary lapse in composure.

"We should. Should we go sit by the river? I miss doing that." Jane looked out the window to the front porch out of habit.

"It's cold! But, if you're willing to share some of your divine Rizzoli body heat, then I will be inclined to agree. Let me turn on the monitor in Daniel's room, I normally flick it on about now anyways.

"I never asked you why you use that thing, does he have nightmares?" Jane asked worriedly; she hoped that if Little Man ever had any nightmares that Maura would call her or at least let her know!

"It's more for my benefit, really. When he was first born, Ian was around more to keep an eye on him while I showered or went to take the garbage out. But, the older he got the less his father was here to watch him. So, I figured that I would put the baby monitor back into use so I could keep in touch with him while he's asleep." Maura blushed at how that sounded out loud, she'd never really needed to explain herself.

"That's cute Maur, and totally something that you would do." Jane smiled as Maura slipped away into the hall closet. She came back out with a set of boots and slipped into them. Her hoodie and jeans (along with Jane) would keep her warm enough.

Maura grabbed their phones and the house keys then stepped out onto the porch. She locked the door and flipped the tiny monitor on. Jane's hand found hers and wrapped her fingers around Maura's cold hand, rubbing her knuckles lovingly as they crossed the street to the riverbank. The flat rock that they always sat on was a bit dirty so Jane swiped her hand across it a few times, then wiped her hand on her jeans. She sat down with her legs open and beckoned Maura into her lap. Maura rolled her eyes and chuckled, eventually stepping into the space created just for her. Jane's legs came up on each side beside her and Maura draped her arms over her knees, like Queen on her throne in front of her subjects. She stretched her legs out and leaned into Jane. She wiggled her feet back and forth at first, just enjoying the feeling of Jane's breath on her ear and her heartbeat in between her shoulderblades. She fished their phones out of her pocket and set the baby monitor on her lap. Maura unlocked her phone as Jane held down the button to turn hers back on.

"I wonder what Ian will say… " Maura knew this was also on Jane's mind, but the brunette knew enough than to pry about the only snag in their relationship. For all Jane cared, Ian could never come back and be forgotten, but Maura needed closure- something on paper that would free her as sad as it was.

"Dunno." was all Jane could muster on that subject.

"Your mother called me about a month ago. I told her again that you'd call her when you were ready." Maura stared at the big white moon over the water. She was walking a fine line, but these were things that needed to be talked about before they got any further into their relationship.

"Figures. I'm not ready yet Maur. I- I keep wanting to run. Even tonight I've felt the need, and you're the safest place I've ever been- ever felt. Does that make sense? Ever since Hoyt, then Frost, I just can't seem to sit in one place too long before I have to leave. You're the constant in my life, Maura Isles, and it scares the fuck out of me to stay but for you- I'd do anything. I know you're tired of me moving around and calling from all edges of the world. But, I think that while I healed emotionally and physically, that I needed to see life. Not the day-to-day shit that I've been doing for 20+ years Maura, I needed to see that someone, somewhere was happy." Jane whispered the last bit, holding back all the emotions that threatened to spill over.

Maura looked up and cocked her head to the side. She nuzzled Jane's neck and closed her eyes.

"I'm somewhere that you could be happy, and if you're willing to try and stay, everything that I have can be yours. I love you Jane, you know that. I just need to rearrange some parts of my life before we rush into things." Maura kissed a dark neck softly before turning back into her original direction, facing the horizon.

"I know you are Maura; you're the only place I've visited more than once in the last five years. I never come near Boston, except for you. I've seen some things Maura- things that no person should ever have to see.", Jane cleared her throat and started her story again.

"I've seen through my own hands, like clear right fucking through them. I watched my best friend and partner die in front of me, due to my inability to focus because of the damned holes in the my fucking hands... I watched my family get closer and closer, smothering the shit out of me until I legitimately broke, Maura. I know you were there the whole time, just standing behind the crowd because you knew Maur- you just knew that I needed you away from the rest of life's bullshit. I know that you moved out to the country when you got pregnant so I'd still visit you without going into the city. I know that Ian wanted you to stay in Beacon Hill because he could smuggle all the medical shit in and out of you house that he wanted to. I remember when you first started to show and you were so fucking happy because you'd just bought this house and we were sitting on the couch making a scrapbook of your pregnancy when Ian called you and told you that he needed the shed for more of his shit and that I needed to move my stuff because he was coming home. You cried because you'd gone through so much trouble to make us a nice dinner and he'd just ruined it from 3000 miles away. I know that I'm getting off track but try and bear with me, okay?" when Maura nodded silently and pulled both of Jane's hands into her lap, Jane continued her story.

"But, while I also saw those terrible things, Maur, I also saw some of the best things I could ever imagine. I saw people fall in love in Chicago, I saw a little girl see the Mickey Mouse for the first time in Orlando, I watched a wounded vet get his meal paid for by a whole bus of high school kids in Detroit, I saw a thirteen year old boy recite the presidents forwards and backwards at the Lincoln Monument. There were incidents like a mother forgetting her wallet and the lady in front of me swiping her card without a second glance in Tennessee. I once bought almost 50 boxes of girl scout cookies so this little girl could see a Broadway show with her troop. I once camped out in Colorado up near the mountains and watched the stars for almost 6 hours until I realized that I was laying down in front of an Elk! I-I saw things like the top of Pike's Peak- which took me eleven hours to scale. I thought of you the whole time, and I remember sending you a photo of myself from the top telling you that I could see heaven, and it looked like your eyes." Jane grimaced at how cheesy that sounded.

"I remember that, actually. I don't have the photo anymore- Daniel poured Juicy Juice on that one nearly two years ago. I never quite understood the meaning, but you looked so free of all your demons, I was so happy for you." Maura added quietly. She neglected to say how she'd set that phone as her wallpaper for weeks, maybe months, until Jane had come to visit one weekend and she'd deleted it on accident after realizing that having a photo of your secret love was not something she should be doing.

"I do, I have them all. I have every photo from my five-year journey saved to my cloud so I can look at them if I feel like running. I hope it helps me stay here, because I'm ready to."

"Out of all 60 cities and 42 states that I've been to, there's one moment that I will never, ever forget. Wanna know which one?" Jane taunted, sighing at the feeling of Maura's hands massaging hers.

"Hmm?" Maura muttered, lightly dozing against Jane.

"The moment you gave birth to Daniel. I know you don't remember much but Maura, you were so fucking beautiful in that moment, that every single sight I've seen has paled in comparison. I know you don't like to talk about it, because Ian wasn't there, but believe me when I say that I will never forget the sight of you two meeting for the first time It-it was like I finally realized what I could've had if I'd just stopped being such an idiot. I'm forever grateful that I could get a second chance at happiness." she stopped short before she let her emotions get the best of her.

"Oh, Jane." Maura said quietly, not able to keep her tears at from spilling. That admittance was the final straw, she needed to love Jane- she needed to like she'd needed nothing else. She pulled Jane's arms into her face and cried into her jacket. Jane finally let a few tears fall as well, letting her fears and negative thoughts get swept away into the river. They sat like that for about an hour until Maura started to shiver.

"Let's go inside, okay?" Jane kissed Maura on the cheek and stood up. She pulled her jeans down from where they'd bunched up and pulled down the shirt under her jacket. A hand reached out for Maura and helped the smaller blonde stand up as well.

"Close your eyes." Jane whispered.

"May I ask why?" Maura countered playfully.

"Just do it!" Jane urged, taking her Maura's soft hands into hers.

Maura nodded slowly and made a show of closing her eyes. Jane spun them a few degrees and looked up at the sky. There was no space between them, just their cold bodies pressed close.

"Okay, you can open them." Jane murmured.

Maura once again complied with the request and saw Jane illuminated in the moonlight like an ethereal angel. Jane dipped down and kissed Maura softly, smiling halfway through and giggling happily.

"I'm sorry I keep breaking the rules, but you're just so beautiful, I just can't process how someone could not realize that. It breaks my heart every time I have to leave so… I don't think I'll be leaving again." Jane kissed her nose and Maura blushed heavily. She wasn't used to this kind of doting or affection, it was nice and not unwelcome.

"Let's go inside Jane, it's late and we've had a long day. I really just want to fall asleep curled into you. It's been so long since I've had someone to sleep next to, especially someone who really loves me." just admitting that made Maura feel more liberated and free than she had in the five and half years she'd been married.

Jane smiled and placed one hand around Maura's shoulders and the other behind her knees. Before the blonde could figure out what was happening, she was being cradled to Jane's chest bridal-style and transported across the street. She swung her feet happily and kissed Jane's collarbone repeatedly.

They got to the front door and Maura jumped down and switched off the baby monitor. She unlocked the door and opened it. She flicked her phone open to illuminate their paths to the light switch inside. Before Maura could flick it on, she felt two hands sneak around her hips and rest on her stomach, fingers splayed over her sensitive skin. A small sigh escaped at intimate gesture, one which could have been happening for years if she'd made different choices.

"I'm going to take a shower, wait up for me?" deep chiseled words punctured Maura's exterior and struck her right below the left ventricle. The low seductive rasp of Jane Rizzoli was something so powerful, her kryptonite, that Maura could be rendered helpless in just a few syllables.

Unable to form a coherent sentence and even less willing to try, Maura nodded and walked towards her bedroom with Jane's hands still slung around her body. The limber digits tickled her ribs and pushed their boundaries with each step into the room. Jane snivelled at the thought of Ian sharing this room with Maura. He'd already had the grand prize, and neglected it. So, why is it fair that she had to fight for someone who couldn't even be hers? It wasn't, but she would never stop fighting for this woman, especially after every other person in her life had long gone.

Jane slid her jacket off and threw it on her side of the dresser along with her phone. She unzipped her luggage and pulled out her BPD athletics shirt and a random pair of cotton shorts. She walked into Maura's bathroom and stripped down quickly, tossing the jeans and shirt in the hamper hiding in the corner. She pulled a fresh towel down from the shelves and made a neat pile of textiles on the toilet. She turned the various dials in Maura's shower to her preferred setting and stepped into the warm spray. All the tension she'd built up since her last visit started to slip down the drain. Something about the simple luxury of Maura's bathroom mixed with the scent of shampoo that smelled like lavender and love made Jane feel safe and whole, something she revelled in whenever possible.

Maura slid the jeans and sweatshirt off and stuck her head in the bathroom to make sure Jane was already in the shower. After tossing her phone on her bed, she stepped in and dumped the casual clothes and her undergarments into the hamper. She checked on Jane once more, just to be sure she was still preoccupied.

"Am I that repulsive, or are you just scared of me naked?" Jane deadpanned in her usual sarcastic tone.

"Neither." Maura blushed and stared intently at the floor.

"Well, do I have a huge booger hanging or what? You're avoiding me."

"Jane, it's not you- it's all me. I can't bear to see what I cannot have without losing my resolve. So, I choose to avoid temptation wherever possible." Maura muttered and stole a quick glance at her raven beauty. Most of her was hidden by the frosted glass of the shower, but enough of the tanned skin showed to illustrate quite the portrait in Maura's over-stimulated mind. Jane laughed as Maura flushed a deep shade of crimson and bolted from the bathroom, neglecting to realize that she was also nude.

Maura catapulted herself onto the bed unceremoniously and grunted. The image of a wet, naked Jane was eternally embedded in her subconscious now. She rolled over and realized that she'd landed on the pajamas from before.. She quickly threw on the stretchy tank top and a pair of Jane's "Rizzoli" shorts from her softball days at BPD. Maura heard the tone for a new email and stretched to retrieve her phone from the other side of the bed. The slippery glass eventually gave way and Maura grasped it and laid back with the phone hovering in her face. She swiped the screen and punched in her code, ready to delete whatever junk mail she'd received. The Email she had gotten, however, was so unexpected that her phone came crashing down onto her face, hitting her nose and thumping against her head. She grimaced in pain and reread the email once more to ensure she'd gotten the correct idea.

[To: DrMauraIsles ]

[From:IFaulkner ]

Subject: Marriage.

Maura, I'm not sure if this is a response to the papers that I had sent to you a few weeks ago but if it's not, then I'll state it again here:

I request that we negate our marriage. I am unhappy because I see beautiful women here but I cannot act upon it. I know that you no longer love me and don't think for a second that I have been fooled by your lover's lack of attendance around me. I wish you the best, and I think that Daniel would not like a phone call from me before starting school, but kudos for the effort. I was just not cut out to be domestic like you Maura, and you weren't meant to be with someone as free as I am. I would appreciate a prompt reaction to my lawyer when the papers do arrive, I know you would most likely like to be rid of me as well.

Take Care,

Dr. Ian Faulkner.

Maura quickly locked her phone and pushed it off the the best hastily. It landed with a "thump" at the foot of the bed and the screen lit back up from the contact with the carpet. She saw her background, a photo of her son playing in the pool at the YMCA, and burst into tears. That email gave her permission to do everything she'd ever wanted to do. But, would it break apart her family? She had no one left: her Mother had passed 2 years ago and her father 4. Her other "family" had left as soon as Paddy was sentenced to death. She only had Daniel and Jane. Well, she had the Rizzoli clan, but Jane was not to know that she still kept in touch with them.

Oh, Jane would never forgive her if she knew that Maura still called her Ma once a month. Angela always wanted to know about Jane, she'd really left them (and her co-workers) hanging when she'd taken off nearly 5 years ago. No one other than Maura knew why, it was because the loved Jane too hard after Hoyt's attack and Frost's death as a result of said attack. Jane wanted to be left alone to sulk, then approached quietly. But the Rizzolis weren't exactly known for their silence or distance. So, Jane - in an effort to keep her mental state from crashing - had run. She'd run all the way to the corners of the United States and only stopped to visit Maura a few times a year.

Maura had moved into the outskirts of Boston to try and raise her child with little to no knowledge of the evils that happened in this world. She'd resigned her position, packed up her pride and her family, then tried to best to salvage what she could of her relationship with Jane. It meant the world to Maura that Jane would visit a city that she despised so much, just to see her little family… which had just gotten one person smaller.

"Hey, why are crying Maura?" Jane climbed onto the bed and hovered over the teary blonde's back. She put two warm hands on her cotton-covered shoulder blades, and proceeded to massage the blonde's back lightly.

"Ian emailed be back." Maura exhaled a shaky breath and began her tale again again. "Ian emailed me back to say that he had already sent me divorce papers, which is everything that I've wanted… but, it still hurts." Maura relaxed into Jane's touch.

"Is it your pride that hurts? You're an Isles, and they rarely get broken up with." Jane offered. Maura was too humble to ever truly put stock in her last name, but it was well-known that the Isle's name came with many perks around the East coast.

"I think it truly is just that, Jane. I appreciate your input, even if I don't like what it is." a small, curt laugh ended her sentence.

"Are you ready for bed, Maur? I can go check on Little Man and grab the monitor if you'd prefer?"

"I think I've got it, thank you though. I just need a moment, okay? I promise I'll be right back. My thoughts are screaming and I need them to be still and quiet. I'll take my phone and be back in less than 10, 'kay?" Maura slid off the bed and kissed Jane's hand that was still stretched towards her. Jane simply nodded and smiled sympathetically towards the blonde. She couldn't quite wrap her mind around why Maura was upset by this newfound information, but she also wasn't Maura. So, she never really would understand what it felt like.

Maura slipped into her house shoes and padded out the door. Right before she went around the corner, she swung herself backwards on the door frame, locking eyes with Jane.

"I do love you, Jane; don't think that's faltered. I just feel like the carpet was pulled out from underneath me, and I'm struggling to regain balance."

"Rug, Maura. You mean rug."

"I knew that Jane, I just wanted to hear your voice again." Maura smiled, her one dimple showcased by the moonlight cascading through the cracked curtains. She turned once more to leave but was stopped by Jane's voice.

"You know that I do too."

"Do what Jane?"

"Love you."

"...I know." the door shut quietly as Jane fell back onto the bed and let herself decompress from her long day. She opened her phone and brought up her browser to check something quickly. The bus route from Chicago was still loaded from earlier in the day and Jane then realized just how eventful today had been for the both of them.

Jane stood and paced around Maura's room, she was far too wound up to think about sleeping. She grumbled as her phone just refused to load the page that she hadn't looked at in years, so she sent off a quick text to Maura and headed to the blonde's office.

_My phone reception is shit and also hates your wifi. So, I'll be in your study for a second to google something. I'll probably be back before you get back, but don't think I ran please. _

_Okay, Jane. I'll be in soon. _

_Okay. _

Jane walked into Maura's office and laughed out loud. She gave the place a once-over and realized that her home office was laid out almost exactly like her office at BPD. She sat down and lifted the lid of Maura's laptop. While she waited for the computer to start up, Jane looked around the darkened office. There was a bookshelf full of things that no sane person would read for fun, a shelf with tons of photos and trinkets from Maura's life, and a… map. Right across from Jane's seat at the desk was a large 3 foot by 5 foot map of the United States. There were little pushpins all over with little scraps of paper attached to them. Jane picked up the one placed near California and read the paper.

_"__I have to run again Maur- I'll be back soon.  
Love ya, See ya_

_Jane"_

Suddenly, it was like the damn broke in her mind and a tidal wave of realization flooded Jane's brain.

Every pin was a place that she'd been, and every slip of paper was the note that she'd left Maura in the wee hours of the morning to wake up to. She was no better than Ian, only she'd stayed in the United States every time she ran. The realization in itself reduced the woman to tears, what kind of woman was she to do something like that to Maura?

"Hurts, huh? To realize just how many times you left me without a goodbye- without a single word. You slipped out like I was just a one night stand you were ashamed of. I forgave you every time, Jane. Would you like to know why? It was because I could see your demons chasing you away from me every single time you realized that I was not yours. I would get a phone call, or a piece of mail for Ian, and you would bolt. I understand Jane, I think I do. But, it never made it sting any less when I had to tell my son that "Ann Jane" had left again." Maura came up behind Jane and put a cold hand over her tank top on the small of her back. Jane flinched at first, but relaxed into the touch when she realized that Maura meant nothing but comfort.

"Is this a map of where I've been?" Jane felt approximately four inches tall at this point. She hadn't really been faced with how far and frequently she'd gone in her five years. The only states not punctured by tacks were: Alaska and Hawaii (they were obviously a bit far), Utah (who wants to go to Utah?) and Kentucky (also, why would anyone want to go to there?)

"I started it when Daniel started to realize that you weren't coming back for a bit and would get quite upset. So, we would find out where you were, and look it up on the map. We'd put a pushpin in there and then I'd teach him a little about that city or state. Eventually, he got accustomed to a geography lesson every single time you called us. Strangely enough, he's never once asked where Ian was. Even stranger, I also never cared to ask. I guess that should have been my first clue when he didn't volunteer that information." Maura explain to the best of her abilities. She had made an executive decision to not speak of the crippling feeling of insignificance that came with each pin that was pushed into the paper map.

"I'm so sorry, Maura. I've-I've never once stopped to think about how my running could affect anyone else. I was a fool, a selfish fool. I-this is a bit much for me right now. Can we sleep on it and talk in the morning?" Jane asked, emotionally spent.

"Of course, I'll be in bed whenever you're done with whatever you needed to do." Maura motioned to the laptop, which was still idling at the login screen. Jane kissed Maura's blonde waves once and rubbed a loving hand over her cold shoulder. She was damn lucky to have this woman by her side, even after all the bullshit she'd put her through.

Jane watched Maura leave the room and sat back down at the desk. She logged into the computer and brought up the URL that she'd committed to memory by now.

**Hero cop missing after Partner's death. **

_Jane Rizzoli, 37, a decorated Detective for the Boston Homicide Department has been officially declared a missing persons as of 5:00 this morning. She was last seen at the Police Department leaving for the night. Sources tell us that she experienced an emotional breakdown after the death of her partner Detective Barold Frost, 32. Frost was a casualty of serial killer Charles Hoyt a.k.a "The Surgeon". Rizzoli was hospitalized with serious injuries after an encounter with The Surgeon that left him and Detective Frost both dead._

If you have any idea where Detective Jane Rizzoli has been, or have any indications of her whereabouts, please…..

She stared at the picture of her next to Frost and audibly sighed. She needed to let her pain go; she needed to stop running from it all. Nothing would fix the past, but she could fight like hell to make sure her future was happy and full of love.

She closed out of the tab and shut Maura's laptop. With one final glance at the map on the wall, Jane shut the door to Maura's office and slipped into bed. Maura was barely awake after her long and eventful day. Jane rolled over and wrapped her arms around Maura, guilt-free for the first time in her life. Soon her life would be how she'd planned, she just had to make sure that she stayed on top of her game and thought of how her actions affected her family.

Her family.

Damn, that had a nice ring to it.

* * *

"Hey Bud, slow down! I wanna give you a smooch!" Jane chased after the five year old, who seemed hell bent on leaving Jane and Maura in the dust outside his Kindergarten room.

"Sorry Mama, I just wanna go to school so I can be smart like you!" Daniel rushed back and gave his mother a big kiss and a hug.

"Love ya, see ya, Mama. Love ya see ya, Mama Jane!" the small boy threw his arms around the tall brunette, who was too taken aback to reply.

Maura looked over and Jane and knew, she just knew, that "Mama Jane" was here to stay, no more running around the U.S. trying to escape a past that was haunting her.

No more running away.

No more.

"Love ya, see ya Little Man." Jane whispered with a low, wet voice.

"Come on Mama Jane, let's go home. I suppose the privacy will do us well. We have a whole afternoon to ourselves, and I foresee a Mama Jane massage in my future." Maura wiped a lonely tear from Jane's face and tried to not cry herself at the apparent transition from "Ann Jane" to "Mama Jane" in their family. Their family wasn't perfect, and it surely had quite a history, but it was everything that Maura had hoped and dreamed of.

And that's all she could ever ask for.


	4. Chapter 4

**you guys were so sweet that I wrote an epilogue for my three shot :) thanks for the kind words!**

"Happy Birthday to you!"

"Happy Birthday to youuu!"

"Happy Birthday, dear Daniel!"

"Happy Birthday to you!"

Daniel smiled into the video camera that was bobbing up and down in front of his face. He waved and giggled when Jane slung her arm around him and gave him bunny ears for the camera. Maura looked on as her son and partner looked so happy to be outside in the early springtime sun. They'd set picnic tables outside in Maura's yard and invited as many people as they could think of. It wasn't every day that the man of the house turned six years old.

"Come here mama! I want to be in the video with you and Mama Jane!" her son waved at her from across the yard. Maura nodded in agreement and rose from the wooden bench she'd been perched on. She glided across the lawn and waved at the gaggle of children huddled around the cake like ravenous birds.

"Come here Maur, we don't have any family videos yet! We need a photo too!" Jane's eyes shone with delight - a complete turnaround from six months ago when she'd decided to stop running and stay with Maura and Daniel, her family.

"Janie, I don't know how long I can keep these kids from rippin this shit apart- oh sorry" Tommy winced as he realized his verbal faux pas in front of the whole kindergarten class.

"Pay up, Uncle Tommy." Daniel held out his hand, silently chastising the grown man. With a defeated sigh, Tommy reached into his pocket and pulled out a banana laffy taffy. He surrendered the candy with wink and smiled at his sister, who pulled the boy into her lap.

Maura laughed at the scene in front of her. She sat down next to Jane and put her head on a strong shoulder. They looked at the cameras pointed in their faces and smiled, truly happy to be a family unit. But, as all good moments do, the feeling was crushed when Frankie Rizzoli decided that the other half of Jane's lap needed to be sat on. He had missed his sister in the five years she'd been distant. Their whole family would be forever grateful to Maura for giving Jane the mind and will to connect with them once more.

Tommy, who couldn't handle being bested in as comedic relief, decided his place was on Maura's lap so he could tickle Jane with her son as a human shield.

"AHEM!" Angela Rizzoli's voice boomed over the whole yard, making everyone freeze with wide eyes.

"I just want to say that I wish you the best birthday wishes, Daniel. I'm sorry that your Nonna hasn't been around until just recently, but I'm going to spoil you and the little one rotten whenever I can! Also, now can we please get a decent family photo?" she threw her arms up in the air overdramatically

"MA!" Jane yelled, her face turning red.

"What?!" her mother yelled back, throwing in a little head movement.

"What little one?" Daniel asked, looking at Maura, who was turning bright red at the sudden onslaught of attention.

"We hadn't told anyone yet! Good Lord woman, I told you forty-five minutes ago that Maura peed on a damn stick and it may have said she could be pregnant. Oh my god!" Jane rolled her eyes as her mother left her post from behind the camera and sat down on Frankie, who was already squishing Jane.

"Ma, I sw-"

"Say Cheese!" Angela yelled motioning the camera, which she'd set for a ten second timer.

"Wait what baby? I'm going to be a brother?"

"I think Tommy farted, Jane."

"Ma, your ass is squishing one on my...netherbits."

Click.

And that's how the moment that Jane felt true, unconditional happiness for the first time was captured forever.


End file.
